Irrational and Irresponsible
by ctoan
Summary: Seth was really mad at Ryan's decision to leave. Maybe he had a good reason.


This was Brandywine421's idea for the Missing Scene Challenge that she didn't have time to write. So I wrote it instead. Covers The LA and The Ties That Bind.

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I've been thinking. I think ... I need to go back. I can't let Theresa do this by herself. I'm leaving."_

His words knocked the wind out of Seth. He should have expected them. He knew it was leading up to this. He just couldn't believe Ryan said them. After all his parents did for him. That he would still leave Newport, leave Marissa, leave him, when he knew the baby wasn't his. Couldn't be his. Seth turned and walked down the ramp.

"Cohen! Where are you going?"

"For a walk."

"Seth!" Seth heard Ryan call him, heard the pleading in his voice, but he really wasn't in the mood. He pretended he didn't hear him and kept walking.

But instead of turning back up the path to his house, he kept going to his favourite alcove. He had spent many afternoons there by himself. Not lately though. It was where he used to go when he'd had a bad day at school, when the water polo players had picked on him, after the kids at school laughed at him as he walked by, after teachers had looked down their noses at him. But he hadn't been here in almost a year. Since Ryan had moved in, Seth hadn't felt the need to mope, to be alone, to hide from his parents. It was all going to change again. It was going to go back to the way it was.

Seth saw Ryan, Marissa, and Summer walking down the beach towards him. Marissa was clinging to Ryan's arm. She probably wasn't any happier about this turn of events than he was. But she had herself to blame for losing Ryan. She had pushed him away for Oliver. She had pushed him towards Theresa. But she didn't know what Seth knew. She and Ryan wouldn't have had a conversation like he and Ryan had had on their way to the motel to retrieve Ryan's watch.

_"I guess the question is, did you guys use a condom, and the corollary, if you did use a condom, where did you get it?"_

"_Seth, I'm going to pretend you didn't just ask that."_

"_What? When Dad and I were talking about my first time...not that I asked my dad for advice, or listened to his advice, or wanted to talk to him about it at all." Seth shuddered at the memory of their conversation. "One of his first questions was if I used...protection, as he called it. And let me tell you, Ryan, hearing your dad say 'protection' is way better than hearing your dad say 'condom'. Or I would imagine. And as awkward as it was to discuss it with Dad, and believe me, awkward doesn't even begin to cover it. Whoa, was that an awkward conversation and not overly helpful, as it turns out because Summer..." He noticed Ryan glaring at him. "OK yeah, you don't need to hear that right now. My point is...What was my point? Oh yeah, did you use a condom?"_

"_Of course."_

"'_Of course' he says, as if it all makes sense. But it doesn't, Ryan. Not to me. See, to me, it only raises more questions. Because the question that then comes to mind is, where did this condom come from?"_

"_What?"_

"_Try to keep up. Because you said yourself that you hadn't planned on sleeping with Theresa, right?" He waited for Ryan to agree. "Right, Ryan?"_

"_Right, Seth. I already told you. I was just over there to figure out what we were going to do. It just kind of...happened."_

"_My point exactly, Ryan. If you weren't planning on it, why would you bring a condom? You and Marissa were broken up, and from what you've said, I don't imagine you were carrying condoms around much when you two were still together. Right?"_

"_Right, but..."_

"Right. So then what was Theresa doing with condoms? She and Eddie were broken up and he was far away. She wouldn't be expecting him to stop by anytime soon. Why would she have condoms around?"

"_I don't know, Seth! What difference does it make, where the condom came from?"_

_Seth stared at him. _

"_Fine. It was mine. I wasn't planning on it, but it's Theresa. It's what we do."_

_Seth felt a smug smile on his face. "Thank you. I feel better when I have all the facts." _

Seth felt Summer sit down beside him. He wondered how she found him. "Ryan and Marissa went back to the house." Seth didn't say anything to her. She put her hand on his back and started rubbing up and down. "Don't be sad, Seth. Chino's not that far away. You guys'll see each other all the time."

"Sad? Don't be sad?" Seth stood up and walked a few steps, keeping his back to her. "I'm mad, Summer. He's throwing his life away for a stupid reason. We gave him everything and he doesn't care."

Summer stood up and put her arms around him from behind, pressing her cheek again his back. "It's a baby, Seth. A baby isn't a stupid reason."

"A baby that's not his."

"It might be. Isn't that the point?"

Seth whipped around. "No, that's not the point. The point is that there's no way it's his." He softened his voice. "He told me after it happened. They used protection."

"Condoms aren't always one hundred percent effective. You know that."

"Yeah, but Ryan and Theresa only had sex once. Her and Eddie had sex way more than that. It's more likely the condom didn't work with Eddie than with Ryan."

"Actually, Seth, each incident is unique, so the likelihood of the condom not working with Ryan is just as great as the condom not working with Eddie."

Seth raised his eyebrows at her.

"What? I paid attention in Statistical Probabilities. My point," she enveloped him in a hug, "is that Ryan thinks there's a chance it might be his. She's his friend and he wants to help."

"I'm his friend too, but he doesn't seem to care about that. And I know it's not his."

She took his hand and started walking towards the path. He walked slowly behind her, not resisting, but not going willingly either. As they started up the path, she pulled his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

When they got up to the house, no one was outside. Seth stood in the dark, looking into the brightly lit living room. Ryan was sitting in a chair, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at the floor. Sandy was on the couch, leaned forward as well. He was talking to Ryan. It looked like he was explaining something. Seth saw his mom beside his dad, but she didn't seem as engaged in the conversation as the other two. She was leaned back against the couch, staring at the fireplace, hand covering her mouth. She looked like she was trying not to cry. She looked like Seth felt.

"Looks like everyone else left."

Seth nodded.

"Do you want to go in?"

Seth shook his head. "Not yet."

Seth could feel Summer staring at him. "OK. You can walk me to my car then."

When Seth walked into the house, Ryan wasn't there anymore and his parents looked like they hadn't moved.

"Did you tell him he can't go?"

Sandy stood up at the sound of Seth's voice. "Seth." His father sounded like he was pleading with him. "It's complicated."

Seth could feel his anger and frustration building. "No, it's not. You're the adult. You're supposed to tell him he can't go. You're supposed to be looking out for his best interests."

"I am, son. Ryan's going to go whether we give our permission or not. I can't tell him not to go."

Seth felt the blood rushing to his ears. It wasn't fair. He couldn't just bring someone home and show him how much better life could be, and then let him walk away. "If it was me, you wouldn't let me go."

"No, because if I told you not to go, you'd mope in your room. If I tell Ryan not to go, he's going to go anyway." Sandy sighed. "This way, we can keep him in our lives."

"Living in Chino hell, raising a baby that's not his." Seth turned and walked toward the kitchen.

"Seth!"

Seth ignored his father. He wondered why he was the only one who thought Ryan going to Chino was an awful idea. It made no sense. Ryan was allowed to go because he would be irrational and irresponsible if they said no.

Seth went out to the pool house and walked in without knocking. He looked around but couldn't see Ryan. Seth walked up the stairs, behind the bar, through the closet and into the bathroom, but Ryan wasn't there either. As he walked out of the bathroom, he caught a shadowy movement out the window. He went out of the pool house and walked around the outside. He found Ryan leaning against the wall, staring at the ocean.

"You're leaving anyways, so it doesn't matter if Mom gets mad or not, huh?" Seth gestured at the cigarette in Ryan's hand.

Ryan looked at the cigarette and took a deep drag. He glanced over at Seth and shrugged his shoulders.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing your life away for a baby that's not yours?"

"I'm not 'throwing my life away'. Chino's not that bad."

"Have you forgotten what your life was like? Do you remember what you said the night of cotillion?"

Ryan just took another drag of his cigarette.

"You said that my parents taking you in was the best thing that ever happened to you. I don't get why you're willing to give that up."

Ryan looked like he was weighing his words. "Because this is the worst thing that could ever happen to Theresa. If I go back, it makes things better for her."

"But worse for you."

Ryan shrugged as he took his last drag on the cigarette. He dropped the butt and stepped on it. "It all evens out."

Seth couldn't believe Ryan's logic. "You're being such a punk," he muttered.

"What did you say?"

"I said, you're being such a punk." Seth spoke louder this time. If he was being honest with himself, he was working himself up to a full out yell. "You're throwing this great opportunity away for a baby you know isn't yours."

"Why are you making this so hard? Your parents understand why I have to do this."

"Do you really believe that? Did you look at my mother tonight? Because I saw her, and the last time I saw that look on her face was after the doctors told her there was nothing more they could do for my grandmother and she realized that she was going to lose her."

"That's not fair, Seth."

"No. Do you know what's not fair? What's not fair is you moving away from the best thing that ever happened to you to be with a girl you don't love and raise a baby that's not yours."

Seth saw Ryan's jaw tightened and his whole body tense. He pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and pushed passed Seth.

Once again, Seth found himself fighting off tears. "Why are you doing this?"

Ryan turned to him. "Because Theresa's my friend. And she's all alone and she needs me."

"But aren't I your friend? I'm all alone. Don't I need you?"

Ryan smirked. "OK, so you two are even. But then the baby kind of trumps you."

Seth didn't think it was funny. "The baby that isn't yours."

Seth rushed passed Ryan and into the house. He took the stairs two at a time and flopped down onto his bed. He could feel the hot tears stinging his eyes, threatening to fall. For the first time, he understood Ryan's desire to punch things when he was mad. He got up and started to pace his room. He felt like a caged animal and he just wanted to get away. Maybe he could. _I can be just as irrational and irresponsible as Ryan, _he thought. _If he can run away, I can too. _


End file.
